How I Do It: Positive Reinforcement + Last Day of J.Crew’s 25% Off Sale
September 8, 2014
Happy Monday! It’s raining here today, hopefully the only day this week. At least with a day of rain means that I get to wear my pink Hunters. I got these last Winter and loved wearing them in the rain and snow here. I have to admit I do have a small obsession with these boots. Last year, the red ones were marked down at our Costco of all places right before Christmas, so I couldn’t resist getting them right before the holidays. And I’ve had a black pair for about five years now. They just came out with this Bright Peacock color and glossy Jade Green color that I love too.
A few weeks ago I brought back an oldie but goodie post on disciplining, so I thought I’d follow it up with one I did back in March 2013 on positive reinforcement.
Incentives. Rewarding good deeds, even when it isn’t requested. The in-your-face reward is, If I ask you to do something (i.e. put the books back on the bookshelf), then I’ll give you a treat. I totally agree that this does exemplify positive reinforcement. But I feel like many times when I’ve seen that my child has done a good deed without being asked, that that deserves even better recognition. It shows that they know how to help, love, etc. on their own. And I think acknowledging that, whether it be by a candy treat, big hug, or even just telling them that you noticed their action, really does work wonders. And the end result always, always, always ends with a smile. And to me, that’s the best part! And even better? They’re bound to do it again and again!
Tasks that Deserve Rewarding. Most good behavior deserves a reward, but it doesn’t have to. If a child always thinks they’re going to receive a treat for doing things they’re supposed to, then they’re probably going to get pretty frustrated when you tell them that they don’t get one this time. I always make it a ‘maybe you will, maybe you won’t’ situation, when it comes to treats. And let’s be honest, if they can make their bed, they don’t need a treat EVERY time they do it. One thing to note, make sure you verbally thank them while rewarding them, and explain why they’re receiving the treat. It’s easy to toss them a piece of candy, and say good job, but that’s not enough. Which leads me to chores…
Chores are Fun! Even as young as my girls are, they can still help out around the house. Make it a game! My girls sort our socks, calling it ‘The Matching Game.’ And they seriously fight over who gets to help mama undo the dishwasher. At their age, they want so badly to do everything I do. And one thing I’ve learned, thank them every single time they help you. Once they realize you’re “using” them, they’ll stop with the eagerness to help (coming from experience here).
One thing to remember is that if your child, just like mine, may be acting out, with tantrums and screaming, he/she may not be getting the attention they want/need. I know that there are other reasons why children have fits, but I always forget that it simply may be that they’re not being understood. Of all my children, Logan can flip a switch in a heartbeat. He’s pretty easy to please when things are going his way, but when they’re not, look out! I read an article in the paper once that said children think they’re the center of the universe until they turn 3. I’m not into statistics, but Logan turns 3 in a few weeks. We’ll see if he notices. 🙂 One thing to note is by rewarding good behavior, it not only shows them you care, it gives them attention – hopefully decreasing the number of tantrums.
J.Crew’s 25% Off Sale ends today! Here’s an outfit I’ll be wearing on repeat this Fall. All items below are 25% off. Use code: SHOPTIME at check-out. And TODAY ONLY, free shipping on all orders.
These tan Frye Paige boots will be worn with this outfit a lot too…actually with lots of outfits. Got them last Fall and LOVE them! It took me awhile to finally find the exact tall riding boots I wanted, but these continue to be my absolute favorite! Cannot wait to pull them out in a few weeks.