Monday Manners: Southern Hospitality for the Southern Hostess

I have never used wikiHow until today, and it is so neat!  I typed in “How to be a Good Southern Hostess,” and this is what I found.  Please refer here, to try it out.

1.  Remember that the guest comes first. The guest(s) should be offered the best food, drink, seat, etc. A good host doesn’t serve hot dogs to his guests while he eats steak. (Unless he knows for certain that the guest would rather have a hot dog–as in the case of a child.) If you can’t afford to serve steak to everyone, leave it in the freezer and serve hot dogs to everyone.

2.   Steer the conversation away from uncomfortable topics. A good religious or political discussion can be stimulating in the context of friends enjoying an evening together, but such topics should be avoided among mere acquaintances who have widely differing opinions. Also, the host should steer the conversation away from overly personal topics or observations and be prepared to jump into the breach if an inadvertent remark causes offense. A good host does not allow one of his guests to be made uncomfortable by another guest. It’s OK if everyone realizes you are changing the subject deliberately. They will be relieved.

3.   Make sure you are well versed in the recent going-ons of your guest’s lives so that when you lead the conversation (as a good hostess should) you do not make any uncomfortable mistakes.

4.   Make an effort to connect with every guest. Welcome each guest soon after they arrive and make an introduction to at least one other guest. As the event progresses, make sure to reconnect with each guest for a more extended visit.

5.  Make good introductions. When you introduce guests to each other, think of something they can talk about. For example, “Joe, have you met my friend Susan? Susan is just back from a business trip to China.” If Joe is a good guest he will ask Susan about her trip and you will be free to greet other arriving guests.

6.  When introducing, begin with the name of the more “important” guest. Follow the order of:  social status (as in a senator), age (as in the older person), gender (if both guests are of the same social status and of the same relative age, introduce the lady first), if they are both people of the same gender and of the same approx. age and social status, introduce the one to your right first.

7.  Ask questions and listen to the answers. The art of conversation is 90 percent listening.

8.  Do not confuse etiquette and manners.  It’s bad etiquette to use your dinner fork on your salad. It’s bad manners to comment that someone used their dinner fork on their salad. In the southern tradition, manners always trumps etiquette.

–  Your party doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate, but certain touches show your guests you thought about their comfort: a well-set table, guest towels in the bathroom, a clean home.

–  Don’t invite so many different people that your gathering gets away from you. The more people you have the more people need to already know someone there.

–  If you serve alcohol to your guests, make sure you consider their safety and others’.

–  If you can’t enter into the spirit of generosity required to be a good host, don’t entertain.

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A proper Southern hostess sure has a lot to do while entertaining guests at a party, but I feel that it becomes easier the more you do it.  So go get some practice, and throw a party – and good luck!

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Here’s a little preview of my re-cap from last week’s vacation.  This was our view from our deck in the mountains.  I took this on the last day we were there, at sunrise.  I’m planning on posting about W’s birthday party tomorrow, and the mountains on Wednesday.  Trying to get re-organized here, before I head to the beach for a week on Friday.  Don’t worry, I will be posting the entire week there.  We will have computer-access, and I don’t think I could go another week without y’all!
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P.S. Did y’all hear that actress, Amanda Bynes, has retired at 24 years old?  She has one more film coming out in September, and that’s it.