I wrote this post a few years back, but as I promised you from this past Friday’s post, I’d find this oldie but goodie and share it with you!
How I Do It: Commitment
One thing my parents instilled in us at an early age is staying committed. Committed to our faith. Committed in sports. Committed in relationships. Effort, trust and love all rolled into one. I know it may seem simple to stay committed to some things over others, but some can be challenging. When we lose that effort or perseverance, we aren’t being completely committed. Think of sports. If you practice often, you most likely get better. When you stop practicing, you notice pretty quickly how much harder it is to play at your best level. Commitment in a relationship, whether it be with a friend, significant other, spouse, etc., requires some work. Yes, it can be easy to verbally say you’re committed, but are you really? How much effort, trust and love are you putting into your relationship? I know it’s hard, especially with children, but putting forth that extra effort makes a world of a difference. Just allowing your children to see the bond you have with each other, means so much more than you’ll ever know. Seriously. Watch them. You’ll see them relay that kind of love and commitment into all parts of their lives too. Lanier and I are definitely not the model couple here. But it’s that effort, that attempt to stay connected, that makes the biggest difference.
So How Can You Stay Connected?
Simple activities can be fun. Lanier and I try and watch Jeopardy every night. I’ve watched Jeopardy with my family ever since I was very little, so having that sense of nostalgia with Lanier makes me so happy. I know it’s the competitiveness in us that we like too. We love games: Scrabble, Bananagrams, cards, you name it. While watching tv together isn’t exactly the best way to stay connected, it’s a start. At least you’re doing something together. Playing games is a great way to have fun and it gives you a chance to talk. Sharing your feelings, thoughts, life in general is necessary in every relationship. How else do you know what the other is feeling? Sometimes you can assume, but that won’t last long, unless you communicate with each other.
Spend time together, outside of the house. If you have kiddos, schedule a date night. I’m not saying you have to do it that often, but do it. It’s good for every relationship. And while a sporting event, bowling, the movies, are all really fun, especially with other couples, I think going out to dinner or even a long walk is better. It allows you to strengthen your intimate relationship. The one-on-one time forces conversation more, and conversation is the key to staying connected in your relationship.
The ‘S’ word. If you’re in a serious relationship, I’m going to be as vague as I can about this, but you know the one true way to stay connected. It’s healthy. The ultimate way to show love. I realize to some people it’s difficult to incorporate this into your lives for as busy as we are, but as I’ve stated before, to stay committed requires effort.
Commitment: the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc. Whatever you’re committed to – work, social activities, volunteering, church, children, relationships, etc. the hardest part is balancing it all. But know that the foundation is your relationship between each other, the bond of marriage and that that commitment comes first. I know it’s hard to say that when your children (especially babies) need you, your work needs you, but again, when your children grow up, your work is long gone and you’ve retired, your spouse will still be right there, your foundation, your rock.
Hope y’all are having a great start to your week! I head to Charlotte today and cannot wait to see my babies!!